Nah, Just Jobbin’ Around

Job candidates are solely distinguished by their fervent attempts to start debating in the final year of study, countless tux fittings and tie trials (and tribulations) accompanied by the all too familiar word doc resumes.
Interview questions are practiced day in and day out: ‘Tell me something about yourself.’
‘Why our company?’

Or perhaps fielding a nonchalant ‘I do not like your ugly face. I am not hiring you.’ is more like your thing?

Oh well.

There are websites & recruitment and hiring specialists forming an elephantine glob of resources available, who dole out gyaan by the dozen: no kidding, but you’ve got amazing tips out there that enhance your chances of landing a job, except what I find funny is, once recruiters get talking about things they look for and the brand of cola they prefer (… and then, it is everyone’s favorite), it becomes way too easy. Don’t they ever crave change of routine?

Change of routine, you say?

I’ll let you in on something: hell yes they do. But if it was as simple as them making it clear and you attempting the ‘different’ sort of things, what’s the point?

To handle hordes of similar looking applications is a task that requires immense patience and insanity.

I’ve always wondered if anybody bothers stepping out from the crowd… Like Ben Campbell in 21?
This was med school, not a company, but a standard interview nonetheless. The Robinson scholarship would go ‘to someone who dazzles. Somebody who just jumps off the page.’.

Ben’s face paled faster than a cracked tea cup leaks your exotic green tea, as he fumbled for something that might possibly set him apart; that one elusive reason why he should be the one on scholarship and nobody else.
Guess what he does?

Watch the movie. It leaves you with the odd ember that singes your brain to act like it never has- fly like every poet of a man asks of it. It ends on a note of honesty, the moment where he decides to bare it all, because he knows there’s nothing to lose. Yeah, we all tell ourselves that stuff like that is invented solely for being woven into a Hollywood saga. What aspiring medical student would join a secret group of math geniuses and temptresses that swoops into Las Vegas to cheat casino, act rich, swing girls, visit strip clubs and pay for his supermodel of a lifestyle?

Yeah, probably a little too dramatic. Never asked you to rob Vegas casinos of their livelihoods, though. Just try stepping off that flimsy soapbox where you stand with everyone else who aspires for much the same things as you do, try to stop the urge to ‘make all the right moves’ (not saying you shouldn’t, but the moves shouldn’t be your life plan.) You’ve got to stick around with who you are– wet towels over your doggie’s eating bowl and slipper in the commode included. Why not hop off the assembly line and see what lies beyond?

This was my mood, when…

Only a few days back did I come across Matthew Epsteim‘s $3000 resume website, (WARNING: mustaches ahead.)
googlepleasehire.me.

The landing page has a shiny youtube play button you cannot resist clicking on because

1. There’s a guy with a mustache
2. It’s a CUTE guy with a mustache
3. There’s a mustache
4. Looks fancy. There’s a mustache in there!

Moustache-y hotness

Google said no. To this?

I’ve got to be a total wallflower to have come across this only now… But better late than never, eh?

His big brown eyes look into Google’s and yours and tell you and google why Google just HAS to hire him.
An ornate palatial mansion plays host to the rather off-the-collar video resume, no-pants style.

So here’s a guy who stepped the hell out of Google’s applications file and created something lasting which effectively demonstrates his digital marketing skills, doe-eyed sarcasm and humor as smooth as the scotch he nurses in his lap, his speech punctuated by the swirling of his poison.

He invested a good lot of time, money and effort (Someone Likes To Shoot People!)
The site features  pages, beginning with the home page and ending the symphony with one where you can contact him, throwing in a couple more.

The last one belts out reasons that would pull any recruiter’s eyeballs, Google included.

Stepping out? On so many levels.

His pdf resume is pretty nifty (made me google for a template! Haven’t found it. Yet.)
Fluid and elegant, it features a timeline in grey text and blue bullets with details looking at you from the top right (including his flavors.me page: cannot emphasize enough the place of these one page personal websites- checkout about.me too!)

The part I love is where his skills are graphicised with a radio-button style rating from average to skilled, appealing to anyone’s left brains left, right and centre.
This guy is a stroke of passionate genius when it comes to brand management and product marketing (here, he is the brand himself, he is the product he’s marketing!)

21k Facebook likes, 5,156 tweets and 5.7k +1’s

Look at those numbers. Look at those bullets.
Click to see them bigger and better.

The digits scream at you and for a reason: he has the talent and experience to back this thing. He isn’t afraid to experiment or take the risks that straddle the climb to being yourself and letting people listen to your work speak.
Turns out it did, apart from a number of other well-established tech firms. Google, though, decided to let it pass; they stick to a policy of no-telling-why over candidate rejections, so I guess we’ll never know. (WHY, Google, why?)

I somehow have a feeling Google’s gonna regret not letting Matt in. (prove me right, Sigfig Boy.)

We’ve had so many mustaches; here, get yourself a mustache geek soap!

Source: geeksoap.net via Ritika on Pinterest

PS. I’m on build-a-resume track. The timing couldn’t have been better.
 Matthew “The Mustache” Epstein has decided to work for an innovative startup out in San Francisco called SigFig as a marketer, because he is ‘a product marketer and digital strategist with a passion for bringing products to market online and offline.

That what he says. He even stopped tweeting all that often now. Oh employment, you unfair necessity of life!

PS. Rein in your impulse to go shoot yourself some reels for a video resume right away, though. Most of them go unwatched, and barely some have ever crossed over into the Recruiters’ Realm. Go check your job first, man. This isn’t candy!

PPS.

[tweet https://twitter.com/MEtweetz/status/236301019305357312]
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6 thoughts on “Nah, Just Jobbin’ Around

  1. I didn’t know who Matthew Epstein was until I read this. I love him! That is such a brilliant idea! Can’t believe Google didn’t hire him.
    Oh, and if you ever feel like cheating a casino out of their money, I’m here for you. But you should know that I have trouble adding 2+2

  2. I know this is a bit off topic when it comes to your post but just before I read it I had decided that tomorrow I would wear two totally mis-matched knee high boots into town just for the hell of it!
    I love the way you write – it’s so clever and funny!

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