Of pregnancy and presentations

Pregnancies are barely written about. Have you ever noticed?

Parenthood is the pivot of adult life for most people yet somehow, the scene of giving birth is shushed in the written and the seen. I’m only eighteen and nine months old and no, I do not know how close you can grow to the life which sprouts inside you. Not everyone stuffs a pillow inside their shirts to see what a bloated tummy would look like. Not everyone goes out maternity-wear shopping.

Conception is a human miracle: a functional human body develops and grows as your mood swings do; it eats the same chocolate chip ice cream you do, breathing that same O2 your lungs play pass-the-parcel with.

So when I came across an article on the interwebz that pointed out that barely any writers gave birth and renewal the space it occupies in our lives, I decided to try my hands on one.

Pain surged in her tender, virgin skin. As she forced another debilitating push, her neck was drained of blood; it gushed out onto the bed in lumps and rushes.

‘No crowning’, the nurse dictated to a masked assistant, pulling up the stained green sheet for a cold observation.

The world spun out of dimension as she succumbed to the hell of birth and renewal; one which she had awaited much eagerly all nine months and two weeks. The pregnancy guide did say something about false pains. Waves of neurotic displeasure wrecked her system. For once, she was cursing Jon. He was a man, he could bear no child. It is easy to tell me to breathe but try doing it when the baby is ready to crawl up your windpipe than go down your orifice!

Like tampons, pregnancy is something mankind will never truly comprehend. With that thought, she felt at peace. Elma felt lazy. As lazy as her Sundays used to be back in the tenth grade; Harry Potter and Snape and Voldemort and Hermione and Moaning Myrtle… And then, there was the silence. Like there always had been.

PS. What he took, The Rumpus

Presentations? Ah, well. People get them wrong all the time. Heck, I don’t remember the last time I enjoyed watching a presentation. Keep looking.

Koopy smites back at bad presentations!

Meanwhile, drool.


3 thoughts on “Of pregnancy and presentations

  1. Once again, I really like the way you write!

    I nominated you for the ‘Inspiring Blog Award’ and ‘One Lovely Blog Award.’ If you accept these awards, the rules just say that you need to give a shout out to me, tell us 7 things about yourself and then nominate 15 bloggers (I listed 5). If you can, just pass it on to someone, have a wonderful day!

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