Some days are just not as bright as others, I’m sure you’ve sat up and taken notice.
And such days, my friend, are tailor-made for Koopy to smite.
Enter Mary Robert’s Facebook page.
The about section reads: ‘Hunt with Your Man not for Him! Hunt with your Kids not for them! God, Family, and Living the Outdoor Lifestyle is life!’
Woman. You capitalise words in the middle of sentences?
Hunt with your man, not for him. Sorry, bad advice. Haven’t you ever heard that all good men are either taken or gay? Hunt for a man makes sense. Hunt with a man makes you a murderer.
Hunt with your kids? Of course.
‘Gregory, go kill a duck for your date this evening WILL YA?!’
‘… not for them!’
Early women hunted for their families. Heck, everyone did. Try explaining how you hunt for your children in the 21st century?
Oh good god. You’re turning out to be one gruesome person.
‘God, …’ Where does God even come from?
This is your idea of spending quality time with your loved ones, killing other families and ripping them apart, leaving other children bereft of parents and love?
‘Living the outdoor lifestyle is the life!’
Hunting is outdoor lifestyle for you?
Hiking trails is outdoor. Swimming, squash, running, Frisbee with the neighbour’s dog is outdoor.
‘ We take our kids Hunting so we don’t have to Hunt for them.’
You instill absolute bull in your children, no skill. (it rhymed!) You teach them that it’s okay if they killed. You teach them to not think of the consequences of their actions. You teach them to be superficial, shallow brats for kids who are brainwashed to believe that hunting, like Sanskrit and Urdu and Laundromats are dying breeds today: you are raising zombies – will they ever know what sympathy, pain, understanding or love really are?
Will they shoot the neighbour’s pet dog next?
You, Roberts, are raising future criminals in your household.
I’m a girly girl with True Grit. At home sitting in a tree stand as shopping for shoes. A Hunter and confident Outdoors Woman. Competitive 3D Archer, shooting against some of the best Women Hunters in the world. A mother to three amazing boys Mackenzie, Tristan, and Range. Wife to my Soul Mate. A modern day Mountain Man. Joining him in his love of Archery and Hunting in Oklahoma.
OMG. You can draw an arrow on Facebook! Want a cookie?
You’re a girly girl with true grit to remain as ignorant as ever. You bring shame to humans and female race in particular.
Women and mothers, mind you, have loved and nurtured relationships and families, brought them closer. And no, that is not a sexist expression which translates into washing the dishes and cleaning the clothes. It means setting an example for your children to follow, being a pillar of support of moral value and ground for your better half.
My mother always taught me to respect all forms of life, even if it is a negatively phototactic roach with swirling antennae or a centipede with a million legs crawling across the window sill.
Heck, all mothers I’ve seen and known and those I haven’t, they want their children to be good virtuous people who’re happy in life.
Why do you hate your kids?
‘Modern day Mountain man.’ Of course you are, honey.
‘My Passions are God, Family, Hunting, and Archery. I Hunt with my Man not for him. We take our kids Hunting so we don’t have to Hunt for them. I want to be the best representative for my Sisters of the Outdoors I can be.’
It is a pain to read through your profile. The last time I was this patient was probably when i couldn’t find a washroom nearby and had to wait a couple of hours in pouring rain to relieve myself. Forget content, your linguistic expression is capable of scarring people for life.
Also, who taught you to capitalise random common nouns in an English sentence?
‘My husband Aaron Roberts(The Mountain) got me started in Archery and Hunting.’ So he’s the culprit.
‘ We have owned a Lawn care business for several years. Although the work is tough. It has allowed us to be free to explore our Love of the Outdoors.’
Oh yappity yappity yap. For lawn care, do you skin the grass alive or shoot arrows at it?
‘Love of outdoors?’
Hang on. You hunt in people’s gardens or do you count mowing lawns in the same list as swimming, Frisbee and white water rafting along with your hunting?
My mommy tells me, it isn’t easy to figure what you want in life. But since you have to, one way or the other, take a step forward.
Do people approve of a hunter partner and a Facebook account where you unabashedly display pictures of bloodless corpses and pose with rifles like a modern Mountain Man?
I doubt, I doubt. Using a fake name, aren’t you?
‘Hunting and Archery have given us the ability to share with our Boys a common interest.’
You mean murdering and archery. Of course you mean murdering and archery.
‘We hope to share with others.’ What, corpses? Questionable parenting skills?
I was curious… do you speak Mountain Man?
Coming to camp, which I loved, wasn’t enough for my Mountain. I would share his and the boys Outdoor accomplishments in the field. Aaron felt something was missing.
Makes no sense whatsoever. (Hey. I aced all my English courses, okay?)
An Archery lifestyle was started.
Hunting being my first love in the Outdoors. 3D Archery has given me the confidence to succeed as an Outdoorswoman. Currently, I shoot Women’s Hunter Class, finishing 1st or no Lower than Top 5 for the Past 5 years.
I am the Owner of Trophy Chick Apparel. An Outdoor Gear/ Sporting Goods store specifically for my Sisters of the Outdoors. The women who feel Sexy in the Woods. The true Daughters of Mother Nature. www.trophychickapparel.com
Currently, I am one of the Host of the Backwoods Girls TV. Mrs. Oklahoma Huntress 2011. As well as a Promotional Model for many Outdoor industry companies.
Yappity yappity yap yap yap.
Living the true Outdoor Lifestyle with Honor, Respect, and Peace.
You mention the outdoor lifestyle a gazillion times in your description and that is disturbing on multiple levels.
First, using the same set of words in a paragraph to express an idea sounds monotonous and annoying to the reader. What is the ‘outdoor lifestyle’ to you?
You desperately want to sound like a samurai, throwing up words like honor, respect and peace in your grammatically disabled rant.
[AUTHOR’S NOTE: The International Samurai Association is planning legal action against Mary Roberts.]
Honor? You have failed to honor others, respect their value and you refuse to let them live in peace.
‘Thank You to all for you support, friendship, and love. Love Bunches Mary’
Your page has 4880 likes as I write this. You paid for it, didn’t you?
Outdoorsy or not, despite whatever faults the human race possesses I have absolute faith in their ability to think and differentiate. Who is supporting your massacring sprees?
Or is it the dead deer giving you company on the couch?
Forget everyone. Forget outdoors. Fear your stupidity, woman. Fear yourself and what you are today. When people call you a killer, and when not one but many do, do yourself and everyone in your community and on earth a favour and stop. Think.
Despite all the makeup and the dresses, you are abhor-able. Yes, say it out and loud and slow. Abhor-able.
|Personal Information||Owner of Trophy Chick Apparel
Host of Hooks and Arrows Adventures
L.H. Custom Archery Pro Staff…
Bounty Hunter Traditional Arrows Pro Staff and Model…
Bob’s Custom Calls Pro Staff…Scentblocker WindPro Pro Staff
Hairy Beaver String Silencers Pro Staff and Model…
Bohning Archery Staff Shooter…
Lumenok Pro Staff…
Proud TradRag.com Sponsor…
I am proud to represent these companies. I use all these products to better my success in the Outdoors.
I’m still scouring for any respect that I may have left. Will tell you when I’m done searching everywhere.
Apparently, I’m not alone. And I’m glad.
And then blondes complain they are stereotyped. Y’all can thank Mary Roberts for that!