Even though I did give up Buddhist practice almost about a year back, maybe more, I find that my hesitation to engage with the people I met through this faith has not exactly dropped dead– not even close.
There were some very supportive friends I made; without the common thread of our shared belief/faith/organization, I realize I know them little and they, me. Yet some of them have been around to help me when the tedium of daily life threaten to explode or like that one time I needed a red dupatta for a street play. (And not just any red dupatta, it had to be a plain, vermilion red dupatta.)
Of those I have known, one called Nitu I knew much closely compared to the others.
And out of the blue, I realized that it had been very long since I had heard from her (quite obvious if you consider that I stopped attending prayer meetings and her texts the night before each went largely unacknowledged. )
So I sent her a little how-do-you-do-?, aware that this infantile attempt at making small talk would hardly last beyond a message or two.
That was last night. Today, she messaged about a prayer meeting tomorrow again; although there seems little possibility of me attending one, it set off a torrid chain of thoughts over how long time would have stood till I gather enough… Confidence? Composure, maybe; seems closest.
But how long before I can speak to them without feeling guilty of no longer being a practicing Buddhist?
They have never expressed disapproval over my decision, only unrelenting concern because there weren’t many members in my immediate neighbourhood; they were afraid that things had come to such a stand because they had been unable to give me enough time or prayers.
Buddhists are into a lot of things, just not gobbling people up. With jam on it. I think.
- The Onion: Buddhist Extremist Cell Vows To Unleash Tranquility On West (disinfo.com)
- The irony of being a Buddhist (drunkennoodles.wordpress.com)