It was a lazy day. It was the sort of day on which you don’t want too many people around. But I’m glad I decided to visit a fete being organized at a friend’s school.
The sheer number of people scrunched my eyes into squiggles as soon as we entered. There were stalls for everything: food, snacks, fruit punch, games, a ‘request corner’ where you could request the folks to play your songs; like a mela, only smaller.
What made it even cooler is that my friend was attending his school fete after almost seven years and it was endearing to hear of stories from school. His teachers reactions on seeing him were priceless.
My school has never really organized a fete per se, unless you count the whole routine during X-mas where the closest thing to a fete was the SUPW/Work Experience room with artsy-fartsy things on sale.
At my friend’s school, each grade had set up their own stalls with hand-drawn posters coloured and arranged meticulously; clean, polished tables numbered to make rearranging them in classrooms easier and trash cans dotting the landscape.
Jack fruit! Jack, fruit.
My friend also bumped into juniors and ex-classmates, so I guess you could call it a mini-alumni meet too.
The many classrooms, the playground, the gardens, they all held fond memories. Good old days, eh?
Honey, do I sound too old when I say that?
There are three kinds of people: those who shave, those who don’t and ones who talk about it in a smartassed manner.*
Today, I shall reflect on the gallant act of hair removal.
*And I am lazy. Sometimes. Add two and two, folks.
It never fails to evoke awe in me how the sight of my own hair on my calves and arms jutting out in pride make me queasy.
I’m growing out the two moustaches above my eyes (thank you, random women at many salons for granting me the power of the porn star eyebrows, but gee, no thanks. I
look looked like Voldemort. Almost.)
1.’LOOK! i don’t even capitalize my i’s!’
2. ‘You take way too long to type. I type faster. See?’ *types furiously. Because every chat is a race you must win.*
3. ‘We’re not texting, you know. You could consider complete English words and sentences. I’ve heard they can be life changing.’
4. ‘You know you’re boring, don’t you? And you’re doing this to me because I unknowingly bored you at some point in life?’
5. ‘WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THIS WHILE?’
6. ‘Are you googling all those names?’
7. ‘You? Who?’
8. ‘Well, this is awkward. We talk a lot in real life and then internet happens and bang a dang baby. You’re just somebody that I used to know.’
9. ‘Whoa. you’re still typing. What are you typing? Do you love me? Are you trying to express your wish to gift me low fat cookies? With milk? Are you giving me a drum set? What is it?’
10. ‘Hello newly-good looking person.’
11. ‘Wow. You’re not really that dense, I see.’
12. ‘Wow. You really are that dense.’
13. ‘Do you realize you used that word in the wrong context? I must point it out. Politely.’
14. ‘What’s with the terse replies?
There you go- I have seen your message and just so you know, I’M BUSIER.’
15. ‘Did that sound non-‘caffeine high’ enough? Oh boy. Can’t tell. More coffee. Brb.’
16. ‘How do people manage that yellow dot for ‘idle’? Do I ever look idle to anyone?’
17. *stares at screen while friend pours heart out* ‘You little bear. You need a hug. Go huggapillow!’
18. ‘What a waste of time. Everyone does this chatting thing?’
19. ‘I don’t have a boyfriend and no i don’t want to marry you. Really.’
20. ‘Just gonna spend five minutes chatting.’
*ten minutes later*
‘Just gonna spend five minutes chatting.’