20 things i think while IMing

1.’LOOK! i don’t even capitalize my i’s!’

 

2. ‘You take way too long to type. I type faster. See?’ *types furiously. Because every chat is a race you must win.*

 

3. ‘We’re not texting, you know. You could consider complete English words and sentences. I’ve heard they can be life-changing.’

 

4. ‘You know you’re boring, don’t you? And you’re doing this to me because I unknowingly bored you at some point in life?’

 

5. ‘WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THIS WHILE?’

 

6. ‘Are you googling all those names?’

 

7. ‘You? Who?’

 

8. ‘Well, this is awkward. We talk a lot in real life and then the internet happens and bang a dang baby. You’re just somebody that I used to know.’ JK I’ve never said bang a dang ever in my life and I have no idea how my life decisions aligned for me to come up with that.

 

9. ‘Whoa. you’re still typing. What are you typing? Do you love me? Did I talk too much? DID SOMETHING BAD HAPPEN? WHAT IS IT?’

 

10. ‘Hello good lookin’.’

 

11. ‘Wow. You’re really not that dense.’

 

12. ‘Wow. You really are that dense.’

 

13. ‘Do you realize you used that word in the wrong context? I must point it out. Politely.’

 

14. ‘What’s with the terse replies?
 
‘Nm. ‘
‘Ahaan. ‘
There you go- I have seen your message and just so you know, I’M BUSIER.’

 

15. ‘Did that sound non-‘caffeine high’ enough? Oh boy. Can’t tell. More coffee. Brb.’

 

16. ‘How do people manage that yellow dot for ‘idle’? Do I ever look idle to anyone?’

 

17. *stares at screen while friend pours heart out* ‘You little bear. You need a hug. Go huggapillow!’

 

18. ‘What a waste of time. Everyone does this chatting thing?’

 

 

19. ‘I don’t have a boyfriend and no i don’t want to marry you. Really.’

 

20. ‘Just gonna spend five minutes chatting.’

 

*ten minutes later*
‘Just gonna spend five minutes chatting.’